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Numerous jokes are based on Italians, their basic traits & pronunciation of English words. Check out some popular Italian jokes & humor.
Fundoo Times : Jokes : Italian Jokes



Italian Jokes

You can find Italians living all across the globe, in Switzerland, France, throughout Western Europe, the Americas and even Australia. Italians have a typical set of pronunciation. So, when they talk in language other than Italian, it comes across as quite funny. There are certain characteristic traits of Italians that are considered amusing. Both these aspects of their personality, combined with their naivety, have resulted in jokes being made on them, though often light-hearted. Explore some funny Italian jokes.
Alexandra was walking along a Boulevard, involved in a prayer. He asked God for one wish. Suddenly, the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, God said, "Because you have had the faith to ask, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Italy, so I can drive over anytime I want to."
God was in awkward situation. God said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. All the technology needed to reach the bottom of the ocean! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Think for sometime and ask another wish."
Alexandra thought for a while and then said, "God, I have been married and divorced three times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. Here is my wish: I would like to know how to make an Italian woman happy."
The God went in heavy thought mode, and said, "OK, son, you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
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Alexandra and Berlusconi were sitting in a bus and chatting. There was an Anglo-Saxon lady sitting behind them. She tried to ignore the two Italians, but she could not stop hearing the conversation.
Alexandra was saying: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed dirty fellows," retorted the lady angrily. "In USA, we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said Alexandra.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."
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Emma, who was on a sinking ship, was thinking, ?I?m too young to die.? Then, she yelled at the people around, ?Well, if I?m going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this ship who can make me feel like a woman??
For a moment, there was silence.. No response came for a while.
Then an Italian man stood up. He was gorgeous, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He started to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt?..one button at a time. ??No one moved. ??He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest. ?..
She gasps???..
He whispers: ??.
?Iron this, and get me something to eat?.?
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Alexandra and Berlusconi had met after a long time. Alexandra asked Berlusconi "Hey, Berlusconi where you been for the past two weeks? No one has seen you around."
"Dona talka to me, Alexandra," replied Berlusconi. "I been inna jail."
"Jail!" exclaimed Alexandra. "What for you been in jail?"
"Wella, Alexandra," Berlusconi said, "I was lying onna dis beach, and the cops come, arrest me and throw me inna jail."
"But dey dona throw you in jail just for lying onna da beach!", Alexandra said.
Berlusconi said, "Yeah, but dis beach was screamin' and akickin' and ayellin'!"
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Three friends, an architect, an artist and an Italian engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with your wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The Italian engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?" But, how? Asked other two.
Engineer: "If you have a wife and a mistress, both of them assume you are spending time with the other woman. You can go to the lab and get some work done."
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